For those not paying attention, I currently work as a Software Developer in a Financial Services group, and the last few months have been quite a gruelling period of difficulties and discouragement for the IT department there.  The company has been unable to keep a Manager or Director for the department, work demands have been extremely high, and key knowledge of the team has been lost when various developers have resigned.  For those of us who have remained, taking up the strain has been quite stressful and the environment of the company has been at times unpleasant.
Most recently, I've been moving into a team leadership role, performing as a Lead Developer by distributing work load, providing a reference for technical questions, and acting as a solid authority on system design.  In part... well, no, in full - I feel surprisingly unprepared to step into that role, but even more surprisingly, nobody on the team seems to have spotted that yet.  Even more importantly, we seem to have a manager who looks like he might stay, someone who's raised the moral and put some plans in place - whether we'll pull them off or not is another matter but an approved plan is more than we've had hope for in a long time and there's a certain buzz about it.  Even more importantly than that - we've got a pretty solid team now.  Everyone has distinct strengths and there's a great skill base amongst us.
So up up up, as work hours get longer, productivity strains that little bit higher, and promises of investments and bright futures grow to match.  I've been spending a lot of my time at or thinking on work, and enjoying the chance to develop my skills in a more.. business and management direction too.

It was all fine.  Then I got a call from my agent, telling me he's found the perfect job for me.  "Oh, actually I've just had a promotion and things have changed a lot at work - I'm not really looking for a new job right now." I explained.
"That's such a shame - I think you fit the job spec very well and it's a great place to work - I've placed another client in there a few months ago and spoke to him last week.  He's finding it a great environment - are you sure you don't want to just have a look?"
"Hmm... no.. no - I'm going to stick where I am for now - it's a great opportunity here, but thanks anyway."
The call ended and I went about my business, only to get a call a half hour later from the persistent agent, "I know you said no, but when I told them you'd been promoted they were understandably keener - they've seen your CV and think you might just be the right fit for this post, would you consider an interview at all?  If you find it's not the job for you - at least you'll know, and wont be wondering about it down the line."
I was baited by the undeniable reasoning, "Y...Yeah... ok.  An interview can't hurt."
The interview was arranged and in keeping with best English working traditions, it took the form of a 'Doctors Appointment' in my agenda, and when the day rolled round, I diverted my morning commute to Manchester city centre to meet my would-be employers.
It went well.  Really well.  By the end of the interview, the 3 of us were bouncing ideas off each other and sharing in small talk, having satisfied their requirements for a strong technical candidate with a tick in a fair few other boxes.  I don't mind admitting the experience has been a great boost to my professional ego as they seemed quite taken with me and I with them and the set up at the large '.com' ever growing company.  The job involves web programming, and is, in a relative structural sense, a lesser position than I face at my current workplace, but none the less the salary would be better, the stress less and team support more, with distinctly real advancement prospects down the line after much valuable development of my programming and technical skills.

So then... why stay?  It does seem a better job - but let's not forget to factor in 'Recruitment Goggles' which are naturally being used on the new company, so it does all seem prettier.  Despite that, I think it genuinely *is* a nicer place, but... I'm kind of... well I don't want to let the the team down by leaving them just when we're finally getting the chance to change this terrible cycle of rubbish management relations.  Just when stability looks like a realistic goal... to leave the team and cause such disruption that could lose them that, and with all the hard work we're all putting into it - I'm not saying I owe the company my loyalty but, perhaps I feel loyalty to the team and to our new manager who seems like a decent guy.
Doesn't that make me a prize fool though?  I mean - a serious grade-A gullible idiot.  Am I not going to end up hating myself for having passed up a good opportunity for an organisation that will happily cut me lose a year from now with as much scorn as it can muster, or ignore my desire to progress and park me in a dead end post that I can work in as long as I like with never a word of recognition and as much aggro as I can take... I'm clearly mad for even entertaining the thought that I'd be valued as highly in my current work place as I would be in the new one.  Yet... I'm still sat here trying to convince myself with this post, instead of tapping out the keys of a resignation letter.  I think.... I think... the thing is - I'm like a Swiss Army Knife.  One of the new ones that has a USB flash drive in it.  I'm a multi-tool with a decent repository of information built in - I can switch and flex to cover and assist in multiple roles.  I don't only do C#, I also design systems.  I don't just make reports, I also support XML feeds.  I've seen the full system lifecycle up-close and personal every step of the way, and I've worked in all kinds of different situations from high pressured finance offices to musty portacabins in the middle of a park.  I do well at a lot of things, and a chaotic place like Churchwood with a small core team can really use a guy like me.
The new place... they want a C# developer.  Other skills... they're a bonus, but they want C#.NET and that's about it.  If they have a problem with a stored procedure taking too long... they have a team that handles that.  If they have a problem with an infrastructure set up.... they have a team who can handle that.  If I want a coffee... they have a team who can handle that.  From me, they want code... and maybe... maybe I wont be as broadly utilised?  And I'm sure I wont be anywhere near there best developer in the same was a Swiss Army Knife doesn't make the very best screw driver, though given time in the job I suppose I'll get specialised at it.  I think I need them but... do they really need me?  In fairness - they have shown they really want me at any rate, and ironically, would be better to me for coming on board than my current employers would ever be for staying, despite my current employers being a bigger business and needing me far more... in fact now I get to that point, I see how damn stupid this whole situation is - no wonder I can't process it - it makes no sense.  I want to be in the place where I'm the most value, and be valued the most for being there.  How is that not what everyone else involved in this would want?  How is that not the decision I'm being faced with?  That would be easy!

Right... well... pages of ranting on... I still can't say I've made up my mind.  I think I'm staying.  Damn it - I'm staying aren't I?  I'm really f'ing stupid... if I've not learnt my lesson by the time I'm 30 could one of my good friends please put me out of my misery and just shoot me.  Bleh - I'm going to sleep. 
If anyone has any prophetic words from The Almighty, or indeed, just any plain old good advise, be sure to let me know.  But be quick, cos I'm gonna be making this bad decision stick very very soon.
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Phil
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The Exaggeration

Exaggeration is fun!  We all do it from time to time - it's a little increase on what the truth really was rather than a complete swap out, and it make all those anecdotes so much more entertaining, or those sermons so much more hard hitting, or a subtle point so much easy to see.  Yes this is another kind of lie that if used well, can have a positive effect, and what's best - they're often fun to make up.

The trick to a good exaggeration is believability.  Remember those delivery skills you've been practicing?  Well they'll come in helpful here, but you also have to keep in your mind and internal consistency to stay within the boundaries of reasonable expectation.  I think the fun comes fro the 'thinking on your feet' territory you find yourself in because of the consistency rule, when you make an exaggeration you must now add that into your mental score of the series of events, and make any changes to the rest of your story that would have been effected by the exaggerated part.  Let me offer some form of bad example for you...

Tony and Bill were in the park, walking by the pond while putting the world to rights.  Bill stumbled on a lose stick and his left foot slipped into the pond, providing a great source of amusement to the men as Bill stood there balancing himself carefully.  Tony extended his arm and to help Bill out of the pond, and steadied with the arm, Bill pulled his left leg out and back onto dry land.
"Oh no," said Bill, "my shoe!  I lost my shoe!", as indeed he had.  this really only added to the humour, as Bill was not really upset about the loss and more amused by the predicament that he is far from home with only one shoe.  Tony was in hysterics, but as Bill rung out as much water as he could from his sock and trouser leg, tony suggested there was a shoe shop near by and if Bill stays here, he will go and get a cheap pair to get Bill home in.
Some time later Bill has his new shoes and they head for the bus to return home, chuckling all the way.

Later in the pub, Tony is telling this tale, and says that Bill fell right in - an exaggeration but one that adds much to the humour of the story.  The problem now is that they'd never have been allowed on the bus if Bill was completely soaked, so that initial exaggeration is going to have to be followed up by further exaggerations - Bill had to sit by the pond behind some bushes wearing soaked through clothes while Bill went hunting round the shops for trousers and T-shirts and everything.  Of course... now Bill is going to have to get changed in the middle of the park amidst the bushes - again - very funny to think your mate Bill was having to do and why not suggest the clothes weren't all that brilliantly matching either.

So you see, as with most lies, one must lead to another, and soon every element of the tale is exaggerated to match the first point.  After all - Tony did go hunting round shops, and Bill was sitting by some bushes waiting for his return.  He did change into the new shoes and socks on Tony's return.  Only the amount of clothes were affected by the lie 'fell right in', and the bus trip at the end forced the other alterations in the story to compensate for a necessary truth.

It's not just for kicks though - exaggerations most powerful use is to add weight to something that while largely true, doesn't really carry as much as you need it to.  For example, I need my boss to authorise the purchase of a new server but really it's not actually an emergency - it's just it would be really helpful.  I know budgets are tight, and that some manager down in admin is talking up her need for a new uber printer that frankly, she does not need any more than I need the server, in fact less, and so - I might exaggerate the need for the server - throw in the word 'critical' a few times where it doesn't need to be, and my boss is now able to make the right decision of buying the server, which I had I been boringly honest about, could not have been chosen over the printer (because the admin manager was also exaggerating the needs see).  The responsibility you carry here is not to exaggerate your case over a case that actually is the better choice - even if neither is critical.  In the above situation, you make you best business case call, and if really a massive printer for admin would be the best way for the company right now, then don't use your jedi-lie powers to get your server.

Your homework for this session:
Take an ordinary event that happen to you and entertain as many people as you can with an exaggerated version.  The more they are entertained and the more boring the original events were, the more bonus points you get.
Write about your experiences.
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Phil
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