The Misinformed/Mistaken
Politicians fall back on this one all the time when they're under scrutiny.  Actually that's potentially a bad example as in truth, they're usually lying about having lied in this manner when in fact they lied in a much greater way and are now lying about in what way they lied so people will think they didn't really lie at all.  But then... that's politics. 
This lie is another that really might not deserve to be on the list - but then... perhaps in some cases it does, more so when you're making an assertion that you really have no reason to be sure of yourself.  For example, you read once in a magazine that people with dark hair prefer coffee to tea.  For whatever reason, you believed this to be true and when asked what drink we should make for Bob, who has not yet arrived but is known to have dark hair, you assure everyone else involved in the decision that he's a coffee drinker.  If he is not - you didn't lie - you simply explain that you were misinformed about the preference.  Wow... that example is possibly the most sucky example ever given.... but I can't be bothered re-writing one so... you get the idea.

Misinformation is obviously passive - it's only a 'lie' in that you should be more humble about you opinions - you don't really know - you're just assuming you're right.   But it's not really your fault... or is it? 
The most practiced of liars will find they can actively use this category by varying their own threshold for accepting information.  Try to be sure of as little as possible, as this will allow you to hold several contradictory facts in your head which you may pick from as a lie of misinformation when one becomes advantageous to believe.  They are especially effective and blame-free if you can really teach yourself to rapidly believe things you're not actually sure of, and in order to really make use of this lying real-estate, you need to get yourself a constant wide flow of trash information - bulletin board websites, magazines, tabloids, any news service owned by Fox - read them regularly and don't reject or accept what you learn - siphon it into a little reserved box of potential information.  Over the years - this will become a great resource to you.

Your most common usage will be to achieve an ulterior motive.  You didn't necessarily believe that Bob liked coffee when you arrived, but you have some reason to believe he does in your 'trash box' and you'd noticed there were only 3 tea bags left.  You knew Susan and Kelly only drink tea, and though you drink either - you really fancy a tea - so you tell yourself whatever you need to tell yourself to make you sure of that coffee/dark hair thing you read.  If you don't believe the potential truth that dark haired people like coffee, it's not misinformation - that's disinformation, which is basically a bold faced lie - but if you can justify your assertion to some level, then it's valid for the table.  It's all about flexible thresholds - and perhaps not everyone can pull this off, but if you can - they're far better than bold faced lies as they're equally potent with no blame associated.

If you want more examples - you'll find plenty of this in any sales/advertising department, or ripe throughout the ages in any evangelical religion.  Women have less ribs than men... There's an insect in Canada that can not have evolved... My friends friend couldn't walk and is now healed... yadda yadda.  All believable to many, all reasonable things to say, all supportive of a point... not one you actually definitely know to be true.

Your homework for this session:
Since you need a bank of potential misinformation before you can use this category, it's difficult to have an practical homework.
Instead, find yourself 3 regular channels of misinformation and set up a routine that will bring you to take in this source regularly.  Think about spreading the topics, such as science, art, something business related, psychology, etc.
Remember to siphon the information into a special box - you don't believe it, but you're not making any effort to reject or question it yet - the decision is pending.  This requires a certain amount of mental flexibility - meditate on the technique and try to practice these lies as soon as you can - it may take some a while to get the hang of them, while others will find they have a natural gift.
Write about your experiences.

Oh and just so you know how it ended, Bob hates coffee, but doesn't blame you for taking the last tea, it was an honest mistake.  He just drank water.
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Phil
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The Bare Faced Lie

As this clearly demonstrates... playing word association with your friends is a good way to waste two hours while yeilding no relevent material for a comic.

The term 'Bare' meaning 'unhidden', 'in plain sight', 'without deceit'.  These are barely worth mentioning (see what I did there?) on a list of lies, and I probably wouldn't had people not told me off for them on so many occasions.  These are the kind of lies that are obviously lies and are most often found in sarcasm. 
A good example of a bare faced lie was a few weeks back at the office when my workmate (ex-workmate now) Dan asked me if another workmate, Russ, was coming in today.  "No," I replied, "He got accepted at that McDonalds near his house and he's just quit this job.", my face being straight and my voice assuringly assertive, Dan didn't doubt what I was saying - his eyes widened and his mouth breached in surprise for a few moments before he responded, 
"Really?!" he said, looking now out of the window considering the impact this would have on the team. 
"N... well, no - of course not." I said, cocking my head slightly to the left and staring down to make sure he received the full feeling of shame for this moment of gullibility.
"Oh..." he said, running the conversation through his mind again then slapping himself on the head for having been so silly, "Right, yes, of course not - that's stupid... why on earth did I... you just said it so... I can't tell when you're lying and for some reason I apparently accept everything you say without thinking."
Dan decided for the time he remained with us (something like 3 days) he would vocally weigh up absolutely every assertion I made to him, to ensure he did not fall prey to such pitfalls again.

Alternatively, the bare faced lie may be presented plainly as a lie, such as laughing while saying it, or giving simultaneous evidence to the contrary while it would otherwise be quite a reasonable thing to say.  For example:
Mr K: "Would I make a good team leader?"
Mrs C: "Hee hee - Yes, I think so.  Hee hee, hee... ... HA HA HA HAH!"

Finally, they could be convincing in both delivery and credibility, but be rapidly followed by a withdraw:
"Can I have a doughnut?"
"Umm no - sorry - they're not mine."
"Oh ok."
"Nah - just kidding, help yourself."

You can imagine, such lies have limited use.  I suppose they're a fairly easy source of low potency humour.  they also work as decoys - if you don't want to answer truthfully, but don't want to really lie - tell a bare face lie and try to make it a funny one, then move the conversation on quickly.  The most valuable use of these lies is that being harmless and with nothing to lose, they're an excellent category to practice your delivery skills with.  They're the 'blank rounds' of lies.  They're pretty much free and there's plenty of opportunity to fire them off so fill your pockets and go nuts.

Your homework for this session:
Try to tell an easy barefaced lie - something barely untrue, but keep your delivery confident and reassuring.  A good technique is to connect the lie to several provable truths, proving them will then give credibility to the lie.
Once you've successfully placed a falsehood in someone's mind, try and place something slightly less believable in the same way.  Repeat this process until you find it hard to convince the person - then practice at that level. 
Try to really pin down a convincing delivery strong enough to plant as ridiculous a lie as you possibly can. 
Write about your experiences.

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Phil
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I have been asked to act as an 'Expert' on more than one occasion, and on a wide range of topics.  Having been officially an 'Expert', I can tell any of you that have not, that all your suspicions are quite correct - we just googled the topic half an hour before the meeting, and indeed the qualification of being an expert in the real world is much more attuned to, "In the Valley of the Blind, the One Eyed Man is King" than it is to any quantifiable measurement.  Commonly I'm only more knowledgeable than average on what you'd expect, gadgets and technical things, the inner workings of the world beyond the silicon dimension and cold hard truth truth behind the black magic that governs the mystery of... the world wide web.  Yet I've acted as someone with furthered understanding on other things: Lighting; Aesthetics; Literature; Law, and several other things that I have no education in and no particular experience over the common man.  It's not just me - in my professional life I deal with a lot of 'outsourced experts' and 'expert consultants', but it would seem that simply being 'presentable' in your opinion makes it acceptable as 'expert advise' in a pinch.

I'm sure there are better definitions of an expert in circles of academia too high to actually have use for such classification within itself, but in business, it's the valley of the blind model 24/7, and so the definition of expertise I'm talking about is that of the person who you feel reliable enough on a topic to allow their information to bypass your own understanding of said topic, to 'take as read' what they say, even if it contradicts your own conclusion or perhaps common sense.  You may require an explanation, at least for your own future understanding, and they may give you one, but their potentially random decision just sent hundred of thousands of pounds into a 50/50 gambit, and for some reason, you feel more secure about it.  What then is the true skill of this poor mans expert?  Lying.  If you can lie convincingly, and your opinion is as good as anyone else in a 200 yard radius - you're the expert.  And as experts are reasonably successful for no reason, and because here at M.O.M.S we like to share whatever advantages in life we have to offer and happen to be foremost experts on everything, we humbly present a series on the... The Art of Lying. 

Over the next few posts, you will learn about 7 different categories of lies, which if mastered, will set you right...

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Phil
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A lot sooner than I expected to be making this post - Step 4 of the SamBakZa series is out.  I wont spoil it by giving anything away... simply the link to the series, see for yourselves:

http://www.sambakza.net/amalloc/tteotta_main.htm

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Phil
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